Aney Apoi

Who Wants Madonna For A Mother?

2011-03-17T22:19:00.000-07:00

Do You Want A Mother Like Madonna?

Do you want a mother who spends three hours a day exercising?
Do you want your mother to have rock hard abs and muscular arms?
What would you say to a grandmother with a plastic face like Cher?
Do you really want your mother or you grand mother lusting after boys?
Twenty-two year old boys who are even younger than you?
Oh God, NO NO NO.

Insecurity or Beauty
Do you think Madonna and Cher are confident and secure women?
I don't think so. Why are they so desperate to look young?
In spite of their fame and success there is something seriously wrong with them.
Compare them with the Sri Lakan mothers.

Confidence to Let Themselves Go
The average Sri Lankan mother is overweight and bothered about it.
She wears long shapeless shirts and skirts- most unflattering.
Un-styled hair in a slide and un-pedicured feet in comfortable slippers.
I used to wonder why these women don't make an effort.

Now I think these women feel secure and confident.
They feel secure in their marriages and their place in society.
They are not self obsessed - they focus on caring for their families.
I'd choose a woman like this over Madonna any time.

Women Made for Loving
What we love about our mothers and grand mothers is their softness.
Their soft laps and gentle arms bring comfort to a child.
The wrinkles in a grand mother's face makes her beautiful.
Much more pleasing than startled plastic face of Cher.

Isn't it wonderful that our mothers and grand mothers fuss over us?
Making yummy food and making our homes comfortable?
How awful it must be to have a mother with a young boyfriend.
She'll be taking care of him instead of us. Soooo gross.

Do YOU want Madonna as your mother?

Politicians For Sunday School

2010-07-04T20:44:00.000-07:00

Sunday School For Politicians

Sunday School should be Compulsory for the Politicians not for children.
Sri Lankan politicians need help desperately. If we believe what the different religions teach, most of our politicians will go to hell and be tortured for all eternity.

Burden For Children

The children are innocent. They are too busy with studies and other activities to be committing crimes. The average Lankan parents take good care of their children. They try their best to give their children a good education to ensure they have a good future. Hence the tuition classes. It's compulsory for children to study religion till OL's. The syllabus for Buddhism is set by monks so the children have to study areas much in excess of what is necessary for a layman. So what is the need for Sunday school? Why burden children even more?

Lead By Example

My parents never go to temple but are honest and decent people. My father is honest at whatever cost.

Our politicians are setting a very bad example for the children. They show that lying, cheating and killing is not only acceptable but that it's path to wealth and power.

Sunday school is essential for politicians. It will save them and our country.

How To Kill Your Husband - The Classic Snake Concept

2010-05-11T20:45:00.000-07:00

What is of utmost importance for the murderer is not getting caught. Nobody who has used the method I recommend has ever being even suspected of murder.

Why?
Why murder the husband? You may be asking. Well there are many reasons, starting from abuse to boring to infidelity to just plain annoying.

Training
The srilankan girls are trained from a very young age to murder and the the boys are trained to be victims. Daughters are taught to cook while the sons are pampered.

How to

Being a good srilankan wife is the weapon. That's the beauty of it. That's how nobody ever gets caught. They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Everybody thinks it means that men fall in love with women who can cook well. That's rubbish. When has a man ever given an attractive and smart woman a cookery test?

Stomach and Heart

The connection between stomach and heart is real.
Be a good wife the way your mother and grandmother taught you.
Cook good food for every meal and cake and pastry for tea time. Prepare your husband'd favourite dishes.
Very soon you will see the results of your loving care.
Your husband will resemble the teddy bear you loved as a kid.
Best of all you can be sure that there is fat clogging his arteries and there is fat around his organs impeding their functions.
You can look forward to heart decease and diabetes.
In the end you can't save him even if you wanted to.

The Classic Snake Analogy

Snake (classic) is a game on my mobile. The snake in it is stupid I mean intellectually challenged and helpless. It lives inside a rectangular space surrounded by a stone wall. Left on it's own it bangs his head on the wall shakes it's head in confusion and dies within 4 seconds. The object of game is to feed the snake as much as possible while saving him from collision. The snake grows longer as it eats and eventually it's not possible to save it. It's actually sad when the snake you nurtured dies.

This is exactly what happens with in a lankan marriage. The wife feeds husband to get points. Husband eats whatever put in front of him. The wife knows that the quantity of food the husband consumes in inversely proportionate to his lifespan but keeps on feeding the husband. She makes a fuss when the husband has a bit of dessert at parties as if thats what made him fat not the all the feeding she has been doing over the years. It's only to cover up her murderous tracks.

Getting Away With Murder

When the husband dies an early death everybody sympathises with the wife. She is praised for being a caring and loving wife. An aunty of mine rubbed oil on her husbands chest instead of calling an ambulance or doctor when the husband complained of chest pain. The husband had been a heart patient for years so she should have known better. The husband died within hours but nobody blamed the wife.

Go Ahead

If you look around you can see lots of men with big bellies. They are being murdered slowly but surely by their loving wives.
So go ahead kill your husband. You can start by making his favourite dessert. He will love you for it.

Indi-The Leader

2010-03-22T20:34:00.000-07:00

It appears to me that Indi is taking over the Leader newspaper.

First he had one article...... I liked it

Then the KOTTU supplement.... Got hooked to blogs after reading it. Some posts were better than the articles in the main paper.

Then Indi started putting his own posts in Kottu supplement...... To me Kottu is an introduction

to various blogs. We already know Indi.ca.

Then Indi's father's articles........ I like these.

Last Sunday an article by Indi's mother appeared.....

So last sunday's Leader paper had

1. Indi's article

2. His father's article

3. His mother's article

4. Two posts by Indi in Kottu

So I wonder about the future Leader... Will there be only articles by Indi, parents, sisters,

aunts, uncles, cousins, other relatives and friends of Indi?

Is Indi only trying to help the Leader because other are not brave enough to write for it? Is the paper in a desperate state? Has Indi got some power at the Leader? There are these stories about NGO money. I didn't believe these but now I wonder....

Whatever the reason c'est un peu bizarre, non?

SUVs are SO NOT Cool

2010-02-25T23:49:00.000-08:00

The owners of SUVs want us to think that they are

Rich

Powerful

Successful

Lovers of nature/ wildlife

What we think of the owners of SUVs

They are corrupt politicians

Businessmen with loans who want to impress

Showoffs

Destroyers of the environment

Bullies

Ignorant

The stupid drivers of SUVs do not know that their humongous vehicles are for rugged terrain and Not for the narrow crowded streets of Colombo. We do not think they are lovers of nature because we know that they are polluting the environment with their fuel guzzling monsters.

Disturb Wildlife

If they love wildlife they should not go into wildlife reserves and disturb the poor animals. These animals are restricted to the reserves by greedy land grabbing humans. Anyway if they are so desperate to watch animals they can hire a jeep for their occasional trips.

Bullies

The drivers of SUVs intimidate me in my tiny fuel efficient vehicle so I hate them. The SUVs should be banned in cities. The streets are not perfect but we do not need SUVs to drive on them.

SUV owners do not Impress us. We think you are idiots at best

You guys who can afford SUVs can afford to buy a classy car like BMW, Jag, Porch or Merc. So please do. Then we will be impressed. The drivers of these cars not as aggressive as those of SUVs.

Asanga at Kala Pola - Sunday 21st. Opposite the Art Gallary

2010-02-17T20:18:00.000-08:00

You Don't Have to be a Millionaire

I thought only the super rich could afford to buy art. The paintings at the exhibitions at art galleries are prised so high I could not dream of buying an original painting. Some of the painting are downright ugly, grotesque, scary and depressing. They look like works of disturbed minds. I never regret not being able to afford this sort of art because I do not want them inside my home, whatever the art critiques say but I always wished I could own some beautiful paintings.

Kala Pola is for Everybody

My dream of owning a beautiful painting came true when I visited the Kala Pola a few years ago. There are paintings to suit everybody's taste as lots of artists exhibit there. The prices are affordable too. Even if you don't want to buy anything it's a nice to look at art and you can have a hot dog, an ice cream and a fizzy drink. I know none of these things are good for you but it feels so good to indulge yourself.

Asanga is my Favourite

Asanga and Rasika, his wife, are from Kandy. They are graduates of The University of Fine Arts. Asanga's paintings are of big flowers (now in vogue ) and of birds. He is very skilled and the paintings are beautiful - this is the opinion of my famous, foreign trained artist friend.

Beautiful Investments

I have baught a few of Asanga's paintings. They make my home beautiful and bring me joy everyday. I think they are under priced. Maybe it's because Asanga is from Kandy and therefore not business savvy. My husband expects Asanga to be famous one day so he thinks the painting are a good investment. I do not feel bad buying the painting because I feel I am helping nice young couple and doing my bit for the arts.

Have fun at the Kala Pola. A Dimanche mes amis!

Aney Apoi

2010-01-24T06:35:00.000-08:00

I am shocked and confused by the happenings in Sri Lanka. Tres tres bizarre. So help me please.